« January 2006 | Main | June 2006 »
February 23, 2006
News Flash
This important news update, via The Onion:
God Quietly Phasing Holy Ghost Out Of Trinity
HEAVEN—Calling the Holy Trinity "overstaffed and over budget," God announced plans Monday to downsize the group by slowly phasing out the Holy Ghost. "Given the poor economic climate and the unclear nature of the Holy Ghost's duties, I felt this was a sensible and necessary decision," God said. "The Holy Ghost will be given fewer and fewer responsibilities until His formal resignation from Trinity duty following Easter services on April 20. Thereafter, the Father and the Son shall be referred to as the Holy Duo."
Posted by Sprinky at 02:59 PM | Comments (0)
February 07, 2006
Dear everyone:
Please stop referring to discrimination against white people as "reverse racism". Using this phrase implies that the definition of racism is racism against non-whites. I have provided the definition below as a courtesy, because surely if you are stupid enough to use this phrase you may hurt yourself trying to open a dictionary.
Main Entry: rac·ism
Pronunciation: 'rA-"si-z&m also -"shi-
Function: noun
1 : a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race
2 : racial prejudice or discrimination
Posted by Sprinky at 02:33 PM | Comments (0)
February 06, 2006
I'm not sure who to ask, but does anyone in a Muslim country have a job? They sure have a lot of free time to protest, set embassies ablaze, and just generally lose their goddamn minds in the middle of the week. It's like Monday, and they're all out there causing a stink over some drawing or something. Here's a news flash, Muslim world: As hard as this may be to believe, not everyone is a Muslim. I'm fairly certain that means that we don't have to abide b y Muslim law. It's pretty much the same reason that I can eat bacon and pork chops, eat fish on Friday during Lent, and pig out at the Sizzler during Ramadan. It's called different strokes for different folks and you guys should look into it. It's a pretty cool way to live.
I'm thinking of opening up a chain of American flag retail stores across the middle east. We'd sell two things - flags and lighters. Cha-ching!
Posted by Sprinky at 01:20 PM | Comments (0)